Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
