It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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