I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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