who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
