i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
