I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
