I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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