just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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