Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
