He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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