He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Last time i carry you out of a forest
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
