Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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