We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
