Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize