He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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