discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
