This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
