Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Yo dont text me then not text me
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize