I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
