i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
