And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
