Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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