I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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