so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize