...so i touched it.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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