I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Is it penis luge time yet?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize