69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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