After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
false alarm. still invincible.
nutella sex= disaster
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
