literally had 100 drinks last night.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
