the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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