Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
