he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize