Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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