im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
we're so committed to being not committed
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
