how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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