i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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