this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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