what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
