the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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