sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Boobs are out for the taking
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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