The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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