would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
