Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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