HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
