grandma shit on top of the toilet
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
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