i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
