Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
