His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize