He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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