There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
