White coat. Heels.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
