I think my vagina is haunted
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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