do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
