How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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