how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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